• a variety of fine pickles •

light leaks magazine

i got an email this morning from light leaks magazine
telling me that this photo of mine was chosen to be published.

yay :)

light leaks magazine is quarterly, so it will be published in the fall, in light leaks volume 7. won't see it for a while, but that shound make for a nice "oh yeah! i almost forgot!" when it's finally published.

for those who don't know, light leaks magazine is a publication for holga and toy camera users and enthusiasts; it's a place where ideas and words like "sharp" and "in-focus" are tossed aside in favor of ideas and words like "fuzzy" and "out-of-focus", and all other things that holgas are known for.

there's a fetish for that???

on new year's day morning, i was on the phone with my best friend corey. we were having one of our marathon phone calls. he's in atlanta and i'm in texas, so we don't see each other much. in fact, new year's day this year was exactly one year since we've seen each other.

i told corey i needed to blow my nose and asked hi if i should tape it on the webcam and send it to him. not surprisingly, he said "sure!". he knows i blow my nose like a rhino. always have.

i quickly got set up with the tissues and the webcam and turned on my phone's speaker, then i hit "record".

i posted it to youtube so he could view it, and he loved it.

then the strangest thing happened...

the freaks started coming out of the woodwork.

the video recieved daily honors for 5 days straight, today being the first day it hasn't been "honored" in one way or another. the comments are relatively mild, but the messages i have been recieving are mind bogglingly disturbing.

here's a sampling of some of the messages i've recieved:

"i love how you blow your nose like that! it always turns me on to see a female honking her nose."

"are you blowing yellow snot out of your nose?"

"None of my ex-girlfriends could blow their nose like this!!!!! I try and explain how I like it, but they don't get it, and I'm always let down. I'm going to start showing girls this vid from now on!!!!! This is the way a woman should blow her nose! This is SEXXXXXY!"

"omg that is the sexiest thing ever. i know maybe it's wierd [sic] but it totally turns me on."

"I really wish you had showed us what was on the kleenix [sic]. That nose blow was so hot!"

"A good nose blowing... there is nothing more sexier [sic] than that. AWESOME VID!"

what? are you people kidding with this? NOSE BLOWING turns people on? WHAT PEOPLE? why?

why? why? why? eww!

the video? well, sure i'll show you. if it turns you on, please just do me a favor and don't tell me about it...

Video 1 - the original

Video 2 - the "big budget hollywood studio" version

melissa's happy holiday hair-do!

happy new year, everybody! click here for a special holiday message from me & my special morning hair.

a thisishowboredigot production

training this week. 8-5 monday through friday. schedule shock (i usually work 11a - 8p). insomnia.

i made a video a week ago to send to my friend corey. i hated it, so i didn't send it. instead, i entertained myself with windows movie creator until about 4am night before last when i couldn't sleep. this is the evil fruit of my labor. this is what happens when i can't sleep.

so, i'm issuing a challenge: i want to see *your movie! i took video of myself doing something boring and mundane - putting on makeup. i do it nearly every day, and i've done it since i was about 14 years old. i'm sick of it, but i'll do it till the day i die. i added some clips from some of my favorite songs (which incidently coincide with the video clips), threw in some cheesy-ass effects (all i'm working with here is windows movie maker, folks. i got nuthin.) and titles and credits... and SPLURK! a movie. iand t's only 6 1/2 minutes in length.

lemme see yours.

so with no further ado, here's my own indie... "freaking gorgeous".

make sure the sound is on. that's my favorite part.

* if you want to post your movie as a video reply to mine, click here for the location of my movie on youtube.

the pick of destiny: the verdict is in

from whence you came you shall remain, until you are complete again!

vulgar. obscene. rude. tasteless. off-color. crude. scurrilous. awesome.


i give this audacious effort to bring ROCK AND ROLL back to the american mainstream a shining, shiny demon of a TEN STAR RATING.

...but i am a hardcore, longtime D-sciple. those who aren't might not quite "get it". all the more reason to begin your D studies. you will be tested on this.

Tenacious D in The pick of Destiny is high-larious . there are lots of subtle and not-so-subtle references to past albums, Mr. Show and their HBO series, and anyone familiar with the album "tenacious d" and the song "tribute" (formerly called "the greatest song in the world") will be waiting with baited breath to hear it at the end of the movie. alas, it is only referenced; still, the feeling never progressed to "gyped", but developed into some sort of weird tenacious-d gratification. it was like i had gotten the joke. the inside joke.

there is little previously-released music in this movie, but be assured, D-sciples, that this soundtrack, even if unfamiliar to the ears, does rock. it rocks hard. you'll hear familiar riffage in many of the songs, but it never feels like a ripoff from previous songs because they've freshened up the tasty riffs to make them fit perfectly into their new tracks. jables and kage burn the roof off of the joint with the help of meatloaf (his dad), dave grohl (satan) and ronnie james dio (as who else?) as well as tim robbins, ben stiller, amy pohler and an uncredited john c. reilly as "sasquatch".

favorite scene: jables eating mushrooms in the forest (of hollywood, california) because he was "(eff)ing hungry" without being aware of there being any psychedelic side-effects. haha. here comes the hilarity. side splitting. don't blink or look away or you'll be sorry. the strawberry river? awesome. just awesome.

jack black is and will always be the man of my dreams.

this is a must-see for any one who considers themselves a fan of the D. this will be in my DVD collection as soon as it's released. until then, i'll gladly go back to the theatre, and see it again. and again.

let's rock. let's rock today.

PS - at the beginning of most movies shown in theatres, you've seen the "dts... the audience is listening"... right? be sure to catch the D's version of this before the movie starts. and trust me - the audience definitely was.